Seriously are you...
i find myselfs these days dreaming about how i want my life to be, like not impossible changes but improvements i could make to make myself & family better. does everyone have these ideas/dreams or is it that i'm just going stir crazy being @ home with babydoll, pretty much confined to one bedroom. idk. the things i would wanna change is the following....
- To be in better shape, like i may look skinny but inside i feel like a fat kid with how easily tired out i get from the littlest things. i wanna be able to spend all day playing with Makenna & not be the one whos makes us stop because i'm exhausted.
- To eat healthier, you can't just put in all the hard work to be in shape & then constantly put poisons in your body. I'm not saying diet but i could make better choices seeing as how i eat like crap since having the baby ( which probably isn't helping me lose the last bit of baby weight either)
- To be a better cook. i never cooked really when we had our apartment before & well i wanna. i wanna have that life where hubby comes home & dinners cooking. plus i really have no excuse since all i don't work anymore. (well i do because the hardest job i think is raising your children to be amazing people & even more when your doing it by yourself)
- To watch less tv & read more books. all i do these days is watch tv literally from when i wake up until i go to sleep...even @ the gym. it's ridiculous & i can't remember the last time i read a book.
- && lastly to start saving money & paying off my debt. i guess u cant really do both @ the same time but what im saying is to stop spending on useless things & start repaying. gonna b kinda hard without a job but ill figure it out.
- Also i want to really get back into going to church.
What i guess i really want is to set a great example for my daughter & make the most out of this life because you only get one.
Which brings me to the next question
are you the only one who can make yourself change?
While your all probably saying yes, i'm saying no. i mean sure you have to decide to change but you decide based on what's a stake...such as life & death, friendships, relationships....everything. so while you are the one saying yes, someone is pushing you in that direction & supporting you in the change. So i guess you need support.
I would say i have pretty good support system from the loved ones around you. but there's always a debbie downer about it all & its always from who you least expect.
And i know i can make these lifestyle changes with the support from my family & friends.
So here's some math for ya;
48 days till Matty graduates.
14 days till he comes home for a 96.
& 7 days till my birthday. : )
So heres my daily cap for all of you.
i was very lazy today i need to find a routine for myself & baby. The only semi routine we have is that i take her to Donna's everyday @ about 1130 so i can go to the gym. But it would make my life so much easier if the little peanut would go down @ about the same time everyday & take a nap @ the sametime everyday. But i'm sure that wil never happen.
So today Miss Makenna slept in an extra hour after i got up & i managed to do some chores, a very few but they needed to be done....so i managed to shower, change the cat litter, take out the trash in my room & her room, bring the garbage can in from the road & wash bottles along with send a few important emails in that hour. it was like a power hour of work & i was shocked @ how much i managed to get done since i never get that much done all at once between her craziness & my lack of ambition. After my power hour i got her up & changed & we played for quite sometime. it's crazy because no matter how awful things seem to be going just seeing that little girl smile even if it's for only a second sure puts life in prespective. it's hard to imagine that she's only been in my life for 7 weeks because i couldn't manage my life without her. : ) She litterally is my world, & while i love my husband to pieces my love for her is like a whole knew love, to know that i created her & get to shape her into a wonderful person makes me smile nonstop. : ) i can't describe the awesome feeling of being a mother it is incredible. So after playing for a bit with my baby doll i packed her up & took her to Donnas. Went to the gym & the bank. Didn't feel like working out that much today but i figured every little bit of effort will help in the goal to my before baby weight. Also this girl seems to always give me dirty looks while im at the gym. i dont know her & certaintly have never met her but yet everyday when she sees me she just gets this mean look on her face. it's kinda scaryy.
After my errands i went back to Donnas to eat ( i absolutely love eating lunch there, she always has the best leftovers. : )) & eventually Miss Makenna & i came home where we soon lost all of our ambition & did nothing for the rest of the night except play. Although i did manage to make the bed, not like i had much of a choice because i washed my sheets this morning (forgot to mention doing that in my power hour lol)
Well that's all i have for you all tonight. Tomorrow i think Miss Makenna & i are gonna head to hobby lobby & barnes & noble to get a jump start on my lifestyle changes. : )
So until next time....
xoxoxxo-M
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